Being pregnant is truly as beautiful as all the insta moms make it out to be... BUT there are many challenging, weird and just plain confusing moments that not many people share online. 40 weeks is a long time. If I'd known then what I know now - sjoe!!!! Maybe I wouldn't have been so caught off guard at times. Or maybe my google search history wouldn't have all the copious amounts of strange questions!
Morning sickness is not just for the morning.
Everybody has their own unique relationship with "morning" sickness. I feel the need to air quote out of respect for all the millions of women that really got the worst of it during their pregnancy. I was blessed enough to get away with a mild version. Luckily I knew that as soon as woke up I had approximately 10mins to eat a banana or two. After that, small meals every 2 hours or so tamed my nausea. But some of my not so lucky friends, like so many other women, were sick all day long and sometimes into the evening as well. It's really not fun at all and can put quite a damper on the enjoyment of pregnancy.
You don't really need to eat for two.
I was genuinely under the impression that I needed to eat a meal for me and a meal for my baby. I still remember saying to people in the beginning of my pregnancy, "Wow my son is super hungry!"
I'd imagine that this is just an old wives tale made up by a bunch of ravenous pregnant women so that they would have an excuse to eat whatever their hearts desired. Look, you definitely eat more than usual, because your body does need the extra energy. But there's no need to go overboard. Unless of course you are using it as an excuse to snack on that well deserved donut, McFlurry, gatsby or zinger wings. In that case, go for it!
Super weird cravings don't happen for everyone.
This can be kinda disappointing if it's something you are looking forward to. Speaking from personal experience I had no extra strange cravings. Carbs was the running theme throughout my pregnancy, which I'm told is a "boy thing"??? Who knows. But pickles and ice cream, flings and peanut butter or butter in your coffee is not a given.
You are not going to get much sleep.
Besides the obvious lying awake thinking of a million things baby related every night, the feeling of having a water balloon attached to the front of your body is highly uncomfortable. Lying on your left side is supposed to be best as this allows proper blood flow to your baby. But before you fall pregnant I urge you, nay I dare you, to do an experiment. Allow yourself to only lie on your left hand side. Every night, all night.
Pregnancy pillows are a must, and they do help a bit. But nothing beats the feeling once that baby pops out and you are able to fall asleep on your stomach/ back.
Most women don't even feel pregnant in the beginning of their 2nd trimester.
If you are one of the lucky ones, by week 13 your morning sickness will calm down or stop altogether. There will be a period of time, before you start feeling your baby, that you'll question whether you are even still pregnant. Your scans will clearly show you are, but most (not all) women have their energy back. This is when "the glow" starts and generally all the struggles of the first trimester become but a memory.
Bleeding doesn't always mean something is wrong.
This one I learnt after a very scary moment around 35 weeks into my pregnancy with Tayo. I say this with caution as I am by no means a medical expert, so don't come for me! Baby Daddy and I tried to have some sexy time (let's not pretend we don't know how babies are made). Basically, the bleeding is because your cervix is super sensitive due to more blood vessels developing down there when you are pregnant. After a frantic google search and some advice from a close friend, who had also experienced something similar, I was calmer and felt peace that everything was fine with my baby. I monitored the bleeding and it subsided within 30 minutes or so. I went according to the "3 pads in 45mins" rule. Namely, that if the bleeding fills 3 sanitary pads in 45 minutes then you should definitely get to the nearest hospital.
Please note I'm not saying that nothing is wrong if you do experience bleeding, but try not to freak out completely until you have more info. I'd recommed contacting your OBGYN/ local hospital to be safe. It is important to remember that any stress you feel, your baby also feels. Always contact your doctor if you feel that something is wrong! Even if it's for your own peace of mind.
You will need to wear pantyliners everyday.
Once again this is for the general majority of pregnant women, myself included. Overshare alert!!! I am used to wearing a pantyliner most days, it just makes me feel less naked (*insert laughing face emoji*) but for those who aren't used to it, here's a heads up. Personally I'd recommend the Kotex unscented. Because your body is so pumped up with hormones, creating a human being, you are likely to have a mucus type discharge early on and sometimes throughout your pregnancy. Blame it on those damn hormones ladies...
The "bump" before 13 weeks is just bloating.
Like when you order the burger and fries with a side of extra onion rings and then still manage to fit in dessert... Like that highly uncomfortable 'can't wait to get home to undo this button' type of bloated.
No, it's not your baby (yet). It's the increase of progesterone causing your muscles to relax. Relaxed muscles in your intestine means slower digestion which gives you a whole lotta bloating and a whole lotta gas!!! Picture me standing in font of the mirror rubbing my gassy belly and feeling hella proud. Meanwhile...
Your baby will not look like any of those scans.
Spoiler alert! It could be just me but honestly Tayo came out looking nothing like what we expected. You can't genuinely build a tiny person in your mind based off of these scans. Although the technology nowadays is super advanced it is still nothing like seeing your pink, puffy newborn face to face. Because Tayo is a mixed race baby I was obsessed with trying to figure out what his eyes would look like, his nose, his hands, his skin tone. We'd love him no matter what, but we were just itching to know! All that was apparent was that he would have his fathers full lips. The rest was a gamble with our little lucky packet caramello bear (as I like to call him). But parents spend hours obsessing over these scans. Its more about the sentiment because you cannot possibly put an image together of your child, in your minds eye, using these. In my opinion.
Don't get too excited if the stomach hair line doesn't happen to you.
Dreaded by many pregnant women, this strangely ends up being one of your many badges of honour as a mother. Don't get too comfortable if it hasn't shown up during pregnancy though. I was thorough about putting oils on my belly for stretch marks every day, twice a day. I thought I'd dodged it. Thought I was one of the fortunate few. But the moment I stood up from the delivery table there it was, in all its glory, showing off right down the middle of my then deflated belly.
Bump pics will take practice.
If you are anything like me and a bit awkward in setting up self timers and such then these will take a while to get right. My advice is stick with it from your 2nd trimester. Every week, in the same outfit or as close to it as possible, and with a white or very plain backrop. These you will cherish and look back on. I froze my pregnant ass off posing in bicycle shorts and a crop top in the middle of Cape Town winter, but I have them now forever to look back on.
Important note: I am not a qualified doctor, nor am I a professional in any of the topics discussed on this blog. The topics above are purely opinions based on my own real life experiences.
Very enjoyable and interesting read. Well done Monique. Looking forward to many more reads.