A Baby Shower is such a special day for a mom-to-be. Arguably third in line, right after the big announcement and your due date or the day your baby is born. I’m sure most of you reading this have been to a baby shower or had one of your own. Recently I had the pleasure of attending one for a close friend, who is due month end with her first born. Below are two pictures of us taken almost exactly 1 year apart!
24 OCTOBER 2020 vs 03 OCTOBER 2021
I LOVE people watching. Could do it for days on end. So at her Baby Shower I ended up observing a lot and it got me thinking about Baby Shower etiquette. You may be thinking ‘there’s no such thing as baby shower etiquette’, well I’m here to tell you otherwise.
I believe there are certain DO's and certain DON'Ts that are staples, guidelines if you will, for every Baby Shower. Tell me if you disagree, by all means...
DO buy clothing for 6months+. This explanation is one I’m not even sure I need to give, but most first time mothers spend stupid amounts of money on newborn and 0-3 month clothing. I mean, it’s all just so damn cute in miniature isn’t it?! So be the responsible party guest and by baby something for their 6-12 month or 12-18 month wardrobe so that when it comes time mom (and dad) aren’t having to fork out money for a whole new wardrobe.
Random thought: I realised recently that for the first year of a baby’s life you are buying a whole new wardrobe every 3 months! Just let that sink in… Thats multiple long sleeve vests, short sleeve vests, pants, warm tops, pyjamas or sleep suits, socks and possibly shoes. Not taking into account the cute ‘going out’ clothes you end up buying.
DO bring a book instead of a card, and write a personal message in the front. Admittedly, this I picked up from the recent Baby Shower I attended. Admittedly, I forgot to actually do this, but I’ll definitely get one once the baby is here. I think this is the best idea! Books are one of the last things on your LONG list of purchases when getting ready for a baby, but its actually so good to have them from the start.
DO try and get to know a few people at the event. This takes stress off mommy if she feels she doesn’t have to keep everyone company. Events like this bring close family, far family, fiends and sometimes acquaintances together. People from different areas of life all in the same room. So basically, don’t be an awkward Annie sitting with a mouth full of teeth. Its festive, BE FESTIVE!
DO see if you can team up with a few other people to possibly get a big ticket item that mommy really wants. This is a great idea if you know what the mom-to-be really wants.Most of the time there’s usually one or two things that mommy really would love to have but feels is unnecessary or just can’t afford to buy herself. This is a great way to spoil her a little bit!
DO ask what is still needed for the baby. Some moms buy almost every necessity before the baby shower (i.e. my friend). Doubles of anything end up just being a waste of money. So don’t ever be scared to ask what is still needed. Guaranteed there will always be something as the list is never-ending, especially when prepping for your first baby.
A throwback to my BabyShower in Oct 2020.
DO tell the mom-to-be all the things she wants to hear.
Something along the lines of:
“Don’t stress, everything will go according to plan.”
“Of course your baby is going to be adorable as soon as he comes out!”
“No ways, once you give birth it’ll be easy.”
“Swollen? No, I hardly noticed hey.”
Lets not replicate the examples I’ve given, because honestly I’m not even sure all of them are acceptable. But even if you don’t 100% believe the things you’re saying, at least you are easing stress levels. Positive reinforcement! The mind is a very powerful thing, especially when dealing with something as physically demanding as pregnancy.
DON’T bother buying newborn clothes. The baby will grow out of those in 0.4 seconds.
DON’T be a buzz kill with the games. Yes, games can sometimes feel lame to you but its not about you, Sarah! Its about the woman that has formed this tiny human inside her person, and dealt with heartburn and felt uncomfortable for 9+ months. So grab that tape measure and get to guessing the circumference of her enlarged belly. Your discomfort for a few hours is nothing compared to what mom-to-be is dealing with, take my word for it.
DON’T forget about gifts for mommy. She’d also love a massage voucher, new pj’s or snacks for the hospital. Yes, I know the baby clothes are just so freakkin cute but it’s really nice to get a gift that is for you sometimes.
DON’T say “you’re looking huge!” to the mom-to-be. This one had to be on its own because this is the absolute last thing a hormonal, sweaty, tired, pregnant woman wants to hear. Please refer back to the last “DO”. The occasional person pointing out of a pregnant women size is tolerable for said woman, but imagine you're at your event and that multiplied by 10. Tell her she looks beautiful! Even if she looks like she hasn't slept for a week and is carrying enough water weight to nourish a field of corn.
DON’T come to the party starving. Eat at home. A whole meal at a baby shower is unlikely. You don’t want to be that eager Emily with her snack plate piled high because you skipped breakfast. If it’s fancy and you are lucky enough to get a whole meal, well then thats pretty cool!
Please feel free to share any other do’s and don’ts you can think of below!
Pass this on to all your friends and family so that they know there is now officially Baby Shower etiquette. It will also ensure that you’ll get really cool gifts at your baby shower one day...
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More momsplaining next week…
Important note: I am not a professional in any of the topics discussed on this blog. The topics above are purely opinions based on my own real life experiences.
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