I threw around ALOOOOT of alliterative titles for this one, but decided to leave it to the imagination at the end of the day. (IYKYK) Wether you’re pregnant, a first time mom, long time mom or just here for the fun of it, welcome! Last week I reached out to five amazing moms who have bravely shared their stories about pregnancy and childbirth during this COVID pandemic.
Giving birth and raising humans is hard! Add a crazy strain of killer virus to the mix, and honestly I think we can give ourselves a pat on the damn back for getting through the last 18months. A pat on the back and all the wine, chocolate, pizza, pampering, spa days, vacations you need honey!
Those that have been following my blog will know my story and what my struggles were with regards to childbirth and pregnancy, but I'm just one person. That’s just one story of SO SO SO many incredible woman that have had to go through what is arguably the most trying time in anyones life. And then still be in charge of a little human while navigating the huge life changes when living through a pandemic.
So if you are reading this and you support these supermoms then you are officially part of the PANDEMIC POSSE! I hope you enjoy reading about their truths and experiences. So please share, spread awareness, tag and comment because you never know when a mom struggling and feeling alone might see it and feel a whole lot less alone. Lets create community!
Hello, I’m Lauren Correia and I have a beautiful 14 month old baby boy. I have my own business that started during lockdown and is soon launching which is very exciting!
The biggest physical struggle for me was not being able to have my family with me to help me or have them meet Kai as a newborn. I’m a big family orientated person and I cherish all moments so that was one of the biggest struggles of not having my family and sharing the beginning of my beautiful journey of becoming a mother and having my family teach me on what they knew about all things baby.
The biggest mental struggle I had was not thinking I was good enough and what was I thinking having a baby during these times and if he landed up being in someway effected by the pandemic or the virus
The first struggle of not having my family around I tackled it by lots and lots of FaceTime! Thank you for amazing technology aswell as Google was my best friend and YouTube. I started following moms on Instagram and leaned on them for support and guidance and eventually I became one of those to moms to be after me which was a liberating feeling. I formed more honest, connected and caring community online than I’ve ever had in my actual life.
I also tackled the struggle of keeping my baby safe from the virus by staying indoors and having our food delivered to our home so we didn’t leave our home.
I think things would’ve been similar but without not having my parents around which would’ve been absolutely amazing. Reason I say similar is because I’m a very pedantic person already so how I sheltered myself and my baby for the first few months would’ve probably been the same haha.
Advice I would give is to reach out, ask the questions, follow moms that have common beliefs in how you are bringing up your child, educate yourself via YouTube, google and fellow moms is GREAT! There is so much information out there that also makes you realise you are not alone!
Also be kind to yourself, pandemic or no pandemic you were born to be a mother if you are currently pregnant and you are going to be absolutely amazing! Your life shifts and in the beginning the adjustment is hard when something depends on you 24/7 but trust time, trust that you need to learn your new life and I promise you, I’m 14 months down the line and I’d do it again and again! Watching yourself grow is so astonishing as you take on your new role and I’d honestly say there is nothing more fulfilling than being the world to a little one.
Hi guys,
16 September 2020 the day I found out I was expecting, hubby and I were over the moon but we were living in Jozi far away from all family and friends in “The Mother City”.
The biggest physical struggle was wearing a mask in the Jozi heat and Cape Town Summer. I also had HG (Hyperemesis gravidarum (HG) is an extreme form of morning sickness that causes severe nausea and vomiting during pregnancy.) and could not keep any food/liquids etc down until the day I gave birth. Breathing in my own warm breathe really wasn’t the most appetising event.
Biggest mental struggle was being alone during Covid. Depression hit hard. Hubby had to go into office all day everyday as he was working on a big project so I was alone at home, I couldn’t leave home as I was too weak to be by myself. Between randomly puking in malls and being Covid aware, I just stayed home and watched time go by.
Thankfully my husband was great and helped me out of the dark space I was in, but God was the real help. I leaned on him and I immediately started feeling better. Every morning I’d wake and listen to Oceans and cry and tell God about all my problems and feelings and He would take it all from me as I felt lighter than a feather afterwards. Cliche I know, but it somehow created a peace I never knew existed. Because who else can you trust with your child’s life?
So I was very anxious to leave home because I’d been reading horror stories about women who died while giving birth. The new Covid strain was a lot more vicious. I remember news articles being sent to me from concerned friends and family to warn me as Johannesburg was a hot spot. I eventually stopped reading the news, followed the natural steps (wash hands, mask etc) and birthed without contracting Covid.
I believe things would’ve been very different if we weren’t in a pandemic, as I specifically chose a maternity clinic to avoid going to hospitals. While my experience was a good one, it didn’t start that way as I went into distress.
Advice would be to talk to someone if you’re anxious about giving birth during a pandemic, it’s scary, but your faith (God) will get you through it. You have to believe and remain positive. Take every day as it comes. Accept the things you cannot change. Pray. Talk to God. Most importantly, enjoy your pregnancy and document it. Our babies were called for such a time as this!
Ashley is a first time mom, aged 29, who has a baby boy due in Oct 2021.
My biggest physical struggle during this time is actually getting Covid at 25 weeks pregnant. After having a miscarriage in Sep 2020, and having been told I am a high risk patient, the constant fear of this virus taking my child away from me kept me up all night.
Mental struggle - am I going to be a good mom to my child. How am I going to know when he needs me to help him without being able to understand what his cry’s are for. Will he be proud of me. Will I be able to do this alone as a single mother. Will the absence of his father negatively affect me and him.
I tackled those struggles by reminding myself that I will be a great mother, the best mother he could ever have! That the absence of his father will give me the chance to show him more love!
Giving birth without the pandemic I would have been less stressed, less isolated, less concerned. Having to give birth during a pandemic, considering I was pregnant twice since March 2020, the hospital rules regarding Covid makes you feel extremely alone. There is no certainty and things change all the time. It’s hard being told no visitors once baby is born, no partners allowed in the hospital rooms. It’s extremely sad.
My advice for other moms, enjoy the pregnancy, its special. It’s a moment in your life you will never forget. It makes everything else that’s going on in the world feel small. Don’t wish the days and weeks away. The mornings you wake up in pain and uncomfortable, breathe and be thankful you are even going through this amazing journey!
Don’t listen to everyone. Do your own thing or personalise it to make it suit you.
I am a mom of a little girl who turned two in May, and I am 37 weeks pregnant with my second child. My pregnancies were very similar in the sense that I was basically sick (nausea) with both pregnancies. However, the second time around was so much worse. I lost 10kgs with this pregnancy! I don’t know if it is because the first time everything is so new, and you’re embracing the pregnancy journey and on “cloud 9 “. It’s an entirely new experience, therefore you embrace it more and by the time the second pregnancy comes around, you know what to expect. Or maybe it’s because it’s genuinely more difficult the second time. Whatever the reason, the journey for me the second time around as been so much harder! With both pregnancies I had a cervical stitch put in so once it came out I had to take it easy. Couldn’t push a trolley or do any labour intensive work. So you can imagine how difficult that is given my job and toddler!
Cervical cerclage, also known as a cervical stitch, is a procedure done during pregnancy in which your doctor will sew your cervix closed. The cervix is a funnel-shaped tissue that opens during childbirth so the baby can move out of the uterus and through the vagina.
Your doctor will do it if they think your baby might arrive too early or that you could miscarry because your cervix is weak. You can have it done at a hospital or a surgical center. You’ll most likely go home the same day.
The fact that it is Covid, and the fear of sending my daughter to a daycare/ nursery school is real, so she is home with me. Entertaining a toddler, being heavily pregnant at this stage with the symptoms much worse while also being a working mommy has been a definite challenge. Feeling exhausted and tired all the time while still being with my daughter 24/7, it’s so rough, it’s really hard! Some days I just cry because it’s so hard! I feel like it would be so much easier if she was in the daycare being stimulated developmentally, or being entertained and making friends and not at home with mom who is always so tired. At home with mom who is experiencing body aches, carrying a 2-3kg baby in her tummy, and all she wants to do is rest. But I try my best to cater to her needs and wants as a toddler as best as I can. Physically having to care for my daughter, run after her, play with her and pick up her toys is one of the most difficult challenges. Just making the time to give her my undivided attention is really a struggle.
I think staying sane and not going crazy is probably the biggest mental struggle. Nothing is normal during this pandemic! Mommy guilt is also very real… it’s no joke! If you thought feeling overwhelmed would only occur the first time then I’ve got news for you, it doesn’t. I feel so overwhelmed now. Being pregnant with baby no.2 is so scary. All the questions that actually go through your head, like will you love this baby as much as your first born. How could you love them equally and how will you treat them the same. Not being able to pay attention to your toddler like you once did because you are so exhausted and tired.
Every day is a work in progress to be honest. I take each day as it comes and try to be the best mom for my toddler as well as my baby that’s on the way. I focus on what she requires from me in that moment and take it from there. There is no one solution or size fits all. I do whatever it takes to get the job done at that moment in time. No one is perfect. There is no book or specific way that we are taught to be the perfect mommy, and to be honest your child doesn’t need you to be the perfect mommy. To them, no matter what you do, they love you unconditionall. Each day I try and take time out for myself while she is napping just to recoup and get myself in a good frame of mind. I do something I enjoy like drink a cup of tea and rest or read a book or something. Do whatever makes you happy because your mental health as a mom is important. You need to take care of yourself to take care of your kids!
Things would have definitely been different had this pandemic not been around. As I mentioned before, my wonderful toddler would have been in daycare / nursery school by now. I would not have the extra stress and “mommy guilt”. I would be able to get more rest during the day and feel better mentally as well as physically. Especially with the second pregnancy. Maybe my symptoms wouldn’t be that bad the second time around as well. Almost like a domino effect, you know. Having to wear a mask as well, the question is do you let your toddler wear one or not… worrying about them getting Covid / sick , all the extra stress that just adds up on top of the things you already have to take care of or worry about when you pregnant.
Despite all the challenges I wouldn’t change it for the world. Well I would change the fact to not have the pandemic around, but falling pregnant and having kids is such an amazing and personal experience. Even though I experienced the worst of the pregnancy symptoms, growing a child is such an awesome thing to do! The things we as woman are capable of is just something incredible. Feeling the way you do is completely normal! Having an off day is okay! Feeling sad or frustrated is normal, and you’re allowed to feel that way. Focus on your mental health as a mom, because society says we are expected to “just get over it”, but it’s not always that simple. The things we feel are very real and if we don’t focus on our mental health, we cannot focus on having an healthy journey with our pregnancies or when our kids are born.
Charlotte Dickinson
I am a first-time mommy to my 9-month-old little boy. I am from the UK living here with my South African husband and his brother who has Downs Syndrome (and other comorbidities). We fell pregnant just before lockdown (the first time around) started in March 2020. My parents were here on holiday when we found out, it was pretty special. We were very lucky with hospital visits, one appointment with the Fetal Assessment Centre my husband joined on WhatsApp. All other appointments he was able to attend with me, including the birth and visiting thereafter.
Not having family around has been hard for me. An extra pair of hands is always appreciated, especially in the early days when you are trying to juggle everything and manage all your own emotions too. Even now we wish we had family around, it’s so easy just to drop your child off to your mom.
We have always been balanced with Covid. In the waves we’ve isolated more and then when numbers are low, we too relax somewhat. I’ve found it hard to find a balance of protecting my family and myself with getting out, socializing and allowing my son to get to know the world around him. I saw how much my son thrived around people and being out but had to protect him and others in my house too. I also felt even more lonely and isolated. It really exacerbated the fact that I didn’t have a big support structure. Covid still hit our house and this made me question all my decisions and whether it had been worth it or not. Mom guilt at its highest! On reflection now though, I know everything I did was with the best intentions for everyone around me.
Everyone is different, mom and child, and so obviously we differ in parenting styles and decisions we make regarding our children. That’s ok, in fact it’s awesome. We are just being the people we were made to be. Supporting one another through this and not being ‘judgey’ is the best we can do! Also take help when its offered, you are a supermom but its ok to have a break too.
By way of introduction, I’m Lisa and I’m mommy to Harlow who is going on 11 months.
Where time has gone, I literally can’t even begin to explain. When someone says time flies, believe them with every ounce of your being, because you mommy, have no idea how fast time goes in your first year of parenthood.
I’ll start from the beginning, my husband Gareth and I got married in December 2019 (let’s do it again please Mon) and we knew that we wanted to play baby roulette… the rest is history. Yes we are incredibly blessed that it happened without any time to think and I’ll forever be grateful.
Roll on 2020, Covid became a thing and before we knew it dads weren’t allowed in hospitals and babies were being born without a very important person. I won’t bore you with the full details of my birth story but let’s just say it was horrific. I had no pain meds (by choice) and I was induced (won’t do it again) and a million hours later Harlow came into this crazy world. I will not forget that moment when I held her before the room went black and I started collapsing and Gareth got that very precious skin on skin time.
Gareth and I live in the UK and if you not aware of the isolated world we’ve been living in through covid, you're lucky. Albeit we had alcohol all along (not that, that mattered), 3 lockdowns later, bubbles, no bubbles, picnics, no picnics, can meet outdoors, can’t meet outdoors… the list goes on! You learn to live in the present and accept the things you can’t change.
Now I’m the first to get frustrated about things that I don’t agree with, but I quickly learnt this was here to stay and I certainly wasn’t able to change the situation we were in.
I have a strong head and thankfully am very emotionally and mentally stable, sometimes too much, that I didn’t let the fact my husband couldn’t come to scans or be with me in the induction ward get to me. IT WAS WHAT IT WAS!
I totally understand for some you can’t control the anxiousness or panic, but if I could give one small tip is to embrace each moment, don’t over think or analyse, this is when things become to big, when actually it doesn’t have to be. You have no idea how you going to handle the change you about to embark on so why worry about something you could be the complete opposite of or do something completely different to what you had envisioned.
The moment your title becomes mommy, what you do, how you live and what you focus on is a life change you never thought was possible. You will undergo a journey of self discovery, both physically and mentally, both of which are incredibly difficult, but so worth every contraction, every tear, every push, every tear (vaginally) and every bit of pain.
Lastly, I’ll leave by saying this, before I take over my dear friends blog, this is something that’s very close to my heart that I think gets lost in becoming a new mom!
Remember who YOU are, your baby and title does not define you.
You are a friend, daughter, girlfriend, wife, partner before you ever were a mom, hold those people close to you, love them, treasure them, be present with them as you will always need them on your journey of motherhood and they have helped you get to where you are and gain that title of MOM.
That's all from our gorgeous mamma's.
Hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I did!
More momsplaining next week,
Important note: I am not a qualified doctor, nor am I a professional in any of the topics discussed on this blog. The topics above are purely opinions based on my own real life experiences.
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